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Posted by Jess - - 19 Comments

I didn't realize that signing up for the Writer's Platform-Building campaign would be such a nerve-wracking thing. Geez.

It's time for the first Campaign Challenge, and there are so many good entries already. Seriously. If you haven't read them yet, please do--and read the details here if you want to enter for yourself.

*Deep breath*

Here's my entry (which is, by the way, my first ever piece of flash fiction):

Trial

The door swung open with a whine, and I put my hand out to stop it before the noise caught my husband’s attention.

I slowly let out my breath and reached into the cupboard to trace the edge of the envelope. I could just throw it away. Forget it ever came. I’m surprised Emerson hasn’t done that already, he’s so pragmatic.

296 days until Elsa’s fifth birthday, I think. The doctors like to remind us that we probably don’t even have that much time left. They also like to use words I don’t understand—cerebellar ataxia, hypotonia, microcephaly. But I do understand that no child in Elsa’s condition has ever been cured. Ever.

Yet the envelope hinted at a miracle, if you believed in that sort of thing—and oh, how I wanted to. The drug might give Elsa time and relief. It might even make her better.

But results couldn’t be guaranteed—it was a trial, after all. Research. What if something goes wrong and it takes her from us even sooner? How can we risk a life that is already so fragile?

I heard Emerson coming down the hallway and stepped back, watching as the door swung shut.

(200 words)

19 Responses so far.

  1. mish says:

    The sense of uncertainty is tangible ... she feels so torn over this subject ... it's so unfair ...
    My entry is no.#59

  2. Tara says:

    Oh, this one is heart-wrenching! So well done for your first try - impressive!

  3. Great job! (Though I am curious what the letter said.)

  4. Very touching. I really feel for the parents and want to know what happens next, so great job pulling the reader into the story.

  5. Her pain and uncertainity come through strongly. What a sad situation. well done.

  6. Oh! What a gripping scenario you painted here! She would die without, and maybe die with. Talk about a conundrum! Great job! :)

  7. Loved that she has to make a decision like that because soe many parents do. Great job!

  8. awe, this tugged at my heart strings- really really great job for 200 words. And what an awesome blog you've got here! Glad to discover it:) New follower

  9. Deana says:

    You have no worries, your entry it great! Having lost a sister from a trial surgery and a son with a genetic disorder this really touched my heart. A parent would do anything to save their little ones. So very moving!

  10. I would have thought you were well acquainted with flash fic after reading this one. Great job conveying the terrible choice these parents have to make.

  11. Jess says:

    Thank you, everybody! You are all so kind. :)

  12. Karen says:

    *sniff* If this is your first fast fiction piece, I think you should do more! :D

  13. Trisha says:

    Congratulations – you’ve been shortlisted in the first round of judging, so you’ve made it through to Round 2 of 4!

  14. This is poignant and touching and beautiful. Well done!

  15. oh, good one! You are such a writer, Jess :)

  16. Intriguing and heart twisting, what a dilemma! ; )

  17. I loved your work--very compelling! You capture the torn heart of a mother accurately! Thanks for popping by to visit my blog and congrats on going to the next round. :)

  18. Sangu says:

    That's a great entry, especially for a first attempt! And you have such a gorgeous blog!

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